Deafening cry for help

I seek sleep sweet

For our hands again to meet

The sweetness of your gaze

And the inspirational blaze

I seek shelter from my memory

The forgetfulness so dear to me

Time to slowly fade

For a blank sadly man made

And yet all replays in my head

Your voice whispering to me instead

My impulsive manner repeats itself again

And young hopes cruelly slain

Words are my last modem

Poetry my everlasting emblem

My hiding space from your rejection

And the backlash of my passion

The flow will one day poison me

A deafening cry of help no one will see

But until then I shall follow

Maybe one day, you’ll see, you’ll know.

Laurence Ramos

12/12/12     12.16 pm

Loyalty Be My Chain

Patience be my name

Honesty be my game

That my intentions be true

And my actions be such too

So one day maybe

The sought after may see

That never do I play

And I am true to what I say

Loyalty be my chain

Often leading me to much pain

For my heart follows one only

Oh object of my affection will you not see?

Never do I waste my pure emotions

To feeble helpless moments of passion

If I beseech you it is only

A cruel turn of what you inspire in me

Few are those I seek near me

I am a caged bird freed newly

This heart of mine full of innocence

Draws its strength out of patience

Yet it pushes me further

From my solitary attitude that I would prefer

Knowing what I wish for

The being I will inevitably come to adore.

Laurence Ramos

12/12/12

12.05 pm

Memories Gone By

I still feel the cold from that night

Seeing the marks left on my body

I tried with all my might

Not to show it, for anyone not to see

Yet it was inevitable that someone one day

For them to reappear 

Would notice the soul that lost its way

Full of pain, full of fear

And you couldn't protect me, 

I was too far from you to hear

And you were too far to see

That you were the one bringing the biggest fear

I would have forever been in your shadow, 

Being pushing you to greatness, 

Sacrifice more you could ever know 

So long as your life was out of the mess, 

I was there, I saw your worst, your best

I witnessed your words, your heart

I sat in the middle of your literary fest

Yet while always close by eternally apart

This eats up at me, always, always, 

I'd have smiled in your shadow

So long as there was light in your days, 

I would tried all for the sake of you to know

That I would, I will be there never far behind

Always, always, where I can watch over you

If you no longer are in my life, you are in my mind

Until this life has run it's path through...

If only, just if only we both walked on the same road

Understood each other's ways better, 

If only you saw me with a view that was broad, 

You'd have noticed within me the monster, 

Maybe it would have been avoided

But this word means nothing 

It is the master of where I'm headed

And you on that path I cannot be taking....

Laurence Ramos

November, 25th. 2012

The Poet Young-3

The mornings hold nothing new

Just old memories of you

The poet, the friend

The one I thought could understand

Somewhere in my despair 

I lost track, let you fly off in the air

But the piano keeps on playing

All the while I am waiting

For the moment you will remember

That in me you have a friend forever

That life will never go far by

Without you wondering why

I act in such a way

Every time I take a turn these days

Maybe one day you will miss this friendship

Maybe upon my craziness again will you trip

Until then I must move on some way

Waiting patiently for that day

In the meantime look after yourself well

On this I shall no longer dwell

Inside, I will smile at you

Even if the outside one is hardly ever true

Because you were the light in my darkness

The path, the way out of my mental mess

So goodbye for now and be strong

Do not let life tarnish the hope of the Poet Young

For he will one day shine for someone else better

And then maybe you will see what lays beneath the layer

Of craziness and anger, the wild child you took under your wing

But this no longer yours to worry, yours for understanding

Laurence Ramos

November, 25. 2012

Condemned

I'd smile for a thousand years

If you were to push away my fears, 

Contentment, joy and happiness

I would bring to chase the mess

That life threw at you, at me

I would walk each mile to see you happy

Robbing night of its darkness infinite

So the moon could shine upon the tarnished granite

Of the street you walk upon at night

I would be your guide when you lose sight

You would be my inspiration to all I write

I would hide the pain from my heart 

Just so from you I never have to be apart

I would do so much to ensure another beginning

Keep quiet when I lack the understanding

stay away a little to allow you to recover 

N'importe quoi pour assurer ton bonheur....

But all this, this is a dream, it won't be true

Yet if only you looked, if you knew

Yet I am condemned to being here alone

In this silence, because of what I have done

And it hurts me more than arguments and fights

It extinguished that little light

It killed the hope that I nurtured within

Yet I cannot begin realising 

That you were so close, so so close to me

Yet you saw nothing, little did you see...

Laurence Ramos

November, 24th. 2012

Now I Cannot Lie

I was so confused and now I cannot lie
Because I have just realised why
But for all the words written in poetry
Expressing any of it wouldn't release me
From the bond, the link, the chain

That tightens around me, increasing the pain....
I can't live in this silence, yet I cannot tell you
So I'll accept this with a patience anew
The corridors of my nights lost their light
My demons have all won their fights
I stay there, in my bed staring at the ceiling
Not because I have to because of a memory teasing
It all swirls in my head so strong so fast,
From a time not so far past
Words exchanged at a time seemingly slow
When of all of this I blissfully didn't know
But now I wake up with my mind and heart tight
Of where all this was going I lost sight
And there's not much else to really say
Fuck this! I lost you and I lost my way.

Laurence Ramos
November, 24th. 2012
1.12pm

An August Morning

Here is the song of an August morning
With the birds full of gaiety singing
The lush leaves of green
And the brightest sun ever seen

This is the song of a wonderful morning
Played in the heart to the strings of a violin
Feel the air fill your lungs of warm air free
The sweetest morning you will ever see

This is the song of a good day to come
The one that keeps evading some
Here is the morning for which you had been waiting
Look at your loved one still smiling

This is the song of a moment in its time lost
Sweet to me but sweeter to most
And with the words of a poet in the shadows today
I wish you and your loved ones a more wonderful day

Laurence Ramos
17/11/2012
11.44 am

Poems From A Dark Cold Night 4

Little pieces of paper
Marking the time better
Than memory could
Or willingness would.
Blessing from a receipt
Who else but me would admit?
No sleep when words are around
To the tempo of music those are bound
One time in my history
Recorded most accordingly.


Laurence Ramos

9/11/2012
4.34 am

Poems From A Dark Cold Night 3

Words of life gone by
Never back to explain why
Lingering over moments
Time honored homely scents
Yet in the warm heart
Their playbacks start
Smile survivor for you live
So one day in life again you shall believe

Laurence Ramos

9/11/2012
4.26 am

Poems From A Dark Cold Night 2

Could fate have known truly
Of the roses she could see
And the scent gently on her clothes
The relaxing effect of the pause?

Night, former enemy of mine
By your silence you inspire
Words to form each coming line
Like wood fuels a burning fire.

Day shall come eventually
From words she will quite humbly
Retire and resume her day
In her most ordinary way.

Laurence Ramos
9/11/2012
3.56 am

Poems From A Dark Cold Night 1

Night so sweetly dark
Lit by the soft distant light
Small things often leave the deepest mark
Burning the soul with all its might

Silence broken by noises so soft
Low tones, soft breaths, all in the lateness
Memories made of perfect craft
Life rolling along its gentle sweetness

And time flies by slowly
Still the distant light shines for the poetess
As the hours pass so gently
She writes out of sweet tenderness.

Laurence Ramos
9/11/2012
3.51 am

Today

Easily do they forget what lurks in your mind

The thoughts lingering most unkind

But quickly they remember

When they in life suffer….

Easily cast aside you are when you are in need

You can try to reach them, you can bleed

They look elsewhere fed up with you

Those are the ones I called friends true…

No need for them where I find myself now

I fall, I cry, to the sad memories I sadly bow

No need for words, no needs for anything

But to me nothing you need to be telling….

I will not leave quickly out of your lives,

I will hang around like a bee near the hive

You all had from me my undivided attention

Now you get from me a little word of caution…

No kids, no life to unfold will I keep in my thoughts,

You, them, everything can rock along in the boat

While I sail the rough waters of my memory

You will not have a friend all that happy.

For what reason I didn’t crack this time I do not know

But I will not hold on for long though

The silence is bothersome to me

And more of it I wish not to see….

We all have lives, mine is full of everything

I need a bit of peace but this is not happening

I need the stress to leave but it hangs on to me

Like a leech on the person I no longer wish to be….

I am tired, too tried to try

I don’t want to know, I don’t see why

Changes never make up for what was once lost

At a truly life long cost

No you cannot understand,

In my shoes you would need time to spend

And still however bitter the mood is today,

I wouldn’t want you to know this way…

So keep the silence going, it will eat me up slowly

Then of your friend little will remain suddenly

I fail to care if that affects you

I fail to see if any of my friendships ever were true…

Laurence Ramos

5/11/2012

8.54 am

A night

It seems so far away
Yet it was but a day
At dark under the cloak of night
But my mind holds it with all its might...

Each sound, each touch is there
Yet the person has gone seemingly elsewhere
The emotions felt through the touches at their smallest
On my skin as soft as feather dust...

Each caress at its most tender

There stroking my mind softer and softer

Breaths, skin on skin moments now gone

And for the love of life, what have I done?

Those I’ll remember happily

But the silence now is cutting me deeply

There is no way to explain what my mind seeks

But it will be torturing me now for weeks….

Maybe it is better to teach it patience

In such a torturous way, a lesson freelance

But it will not stop bringing back

What went on under the cloak most dark…

Laurence Ramos

26/10/2012

01.42am

Happy Birthday to the one who under the cloak of dark woke up a monster in me

I had so long hoped I would never again see....

May your day be wonderful, 

Hoping to hear from you one day....

xx

A Dedication

Little noises flicker around the mind
Thoughts most unkind
The temper boiling over from the stress
And having to look back on the past mess....

Time may pass but the wounds are there
Hidden, warm and waiting somewhere
The smile may fool the many around
But to hell lately my mind is bound....

One day they were there, waiting
For the return of the child coming
Hoping for that one last hug, last goodbye
But it never happened and they never knew why....

Each Autumn their memory awakens in her mind
And in the heart of the one left behind
She tried to join them but had to stay
Accepting this had to be the only way...

Still for them she loves, lives and hopes,
Loosening the last remaining ropes
Holding her to the life that led her to lose all
Still trying not to take that final fall...


In memory of my father, Grand Mother and Grand Father whom I will always love more than life itself.
Them who sacrificed all they had for me, for my childhood to be happy hoping that my life would be good.
It's getting better but without you sometimes it is hard. I just wish I had had that last goodbye...

Laurence Ramos
25/10/2012
7.02 pm

Thoughts....

Thoughts running through my mind
Pouring out of my tired eyes,
All of those feeling so unkind
And still no answers to the whys....

It was maybe all too much, too fast
One step too quickly paced
All of this devastating past
Suddenly seems so eerily misplaced

If those where all just words I'd ignore all
I'd class them as bygone moments
But as I'm heading once more for a fall
All I feel is the cold cement....

I shouldn't have tried but I never listen
I go ahead full of life and hope misunderstood
Never thinking what could happen
Then hitting a wall, letting in the flood....

Laurence Ramos
23/10/2012
10.46pm

Lingers

Or is it? 

~*~

For all the purring of the feline kind

You linger on my melting mind

Soft caresses and tender kisses

To your touch my heart a skip misses

Slow hours trickling seconds by minute

Pleasures the silence couldn't mute

Lost in the icy blue ocean of your eyes

I forget the time as it gleefully flies

Yet if in words I could just express what is now missing

Maybe it could be found in the memory of the candle still burning.

Hours gone not so long ago now

To the needs slowly rising I could bow

Soon one hopes, sooner maybe

Those sensations could once more be...

Laurence Ramos

21/10/2012

2.55pm

Another night

Another sleepless night

My mind taking a flight

Towards dreams far away

Of times to come one day

Another late night alone

With poetry to be done

Moments of tune fluttering

While my mind floats away dreaming

Another night filled with sentences

The same thought in my mind dances

Stopping and coming like a flashing light

Another night filled with dreams I hope for with all my might.

Laurence Ramos

20/10/2012

1.25am

Sweet Tenderness

Never forgotten in the sweet tenderness

Petits rien chuchotes dans  une petite promesse

Hand in hand strolling through a darkened corridor

Laissant les idées, les mots à leurs propres sorts

Melodious symphonies playing in hearts softly

Pendant que l’âme pense à l’amour en supplie

Longing for beginnings anew born out of fever

Oubliant les maux qui appartiennent à la ferveur

The road is longer than anyone would say

Mais plus douce avec un peu de complicité

Remains to find the soul to carry the heart further

Et laisser derrière un passé plain d’horreur.

Laurence Ramos

22/09/2012

12.50pm

Three Minutes to Darkness

It was a few minutes, no more

Leaving a mind and heart sore

The force at its most extreme

For the pride to remain supreme

Never would humanity believe

What those in the soul leave…

Until you feel yourself giving in

Feeling your strength failing

You beg, starting pleading

Your hand around his wrist

In your head your thoughts twist

A final fight for survival

How is this happening at all?

The air sour stings your lungs

In his eyes your love suddenly is hung

You kick, you struggle to no avail             

After you no one to recount the tale

Around your neck his strong fingers

His eyes burning full of pure anger

Then suddenly your thoughts dims

Still in his eyes the rage gleams

The light switches off so slowly

Until there nothing left for you to see

As your body gives in to total emptiness

There’s nothing left for you to confess

Deep darkness as you slowly sink in

Today for you there will be no winning….

Alone Together

Tears running down the pale cheeks

Heart beating faster by the second

Eyes that never meet

Pure deepest emotion

There’s so much that could be told

Hands never held for mistaken comprehension

Millions of beating hearts whose love is never bought or sold

Yet there is no denying their never failing passion

Time and time again beating for the same purpose united

Far far away from the ones they love more than life forever

In this world and life that suddenly became so complicated

Never forgetting that inside them, somewhere burns this powerful fever

Alone in the darkness of their lonely rooms in their cold homes

Their hearts and souls alone burn in unison

Each minute of their lives inscribed in the universe’s tomes

As those misunderstanding what is understood by a million

No tears, no smiles shared in public yet all known some way

All fading in the line of time and life in a sublime feeling

Light as air yet so heavy in the hearts of those who couldn’t say

What those together bring in anyway something appealing

Laurence Ramos

15/07/2012

02.34 am

Behind Pride

No nothing would let me admit it

What festers within me simply

Held by the fear, my mind won’t submit

To what the heart begs it to see…

Yet it is there, somewhere inside

Boiling over in all manner of ways

Kept prisoner by my heightened pride

Maybe I’ll tell you some days…

Some many times I seem to seek within

What is keeping a light in this odd place

Trying desperately to find it, something to pin

To what is not there, to some face….

Hard to appreciate what feels so good

When it is not comprehensible

Bringing about this sulking mood

Letting me forget what is so sensible

No it is not possible to understand

And my mind still refuses to think

About why I walk about with this emptied hand

And my eyes so often refuse to blink

Sleep is sweet yet seldom comes to me

Every time I close my eyes I see them smiling

They beg of me to be happy

In words that I fake understanding

Never seeing the point of hoping

Not seeking to find this feeling truly

I’ll keep on enjoy it’s presence growing

And maybe one day, why it’s there is what I’ll see!!!

Laurence Ramos

15/09/2012

3.08 am

I wish

I wish I knew
If what they say is true
If your words are heartfelt
Why each time something in me has to melt

I wish I had never
Reached out whenever
Life and hope seemed at the end
I wish for once I could pretend

I wish for no morning
To surprise my poor eyes crying
That my heart wasn't still utterly broken
Why all of this had to happen?

I wish I wasn't me
Just for one chance to be happy
To chase this thing inside
Forever eating away at my pride

I wish she in the mirror
Looking back at me, didn't invoke such horror
That she would fade slowly
And that with her death she would take me

I wish but there's no reason
To wish upon the pillow I cry on
To hope I was someone else ever
Happy and why not prettier!

I wish for the silence
To break along with my patience
To never wake again
This way I would know I wouldn't feel this pain

Laurie
30/08/2012

If Only

And I sit here in the darkness
For companion my heart's mess
Those illusive answers still hiding
My only defence crying...

Pathetic creature that I am still
Fighting but with no will
Life passes me by purposefully
And I watch it go by happilly!

No longer do I care for the light
It can go on shining so bright
I now know it is not for me
Blind and hurt I'll accept I cannot be happy

I was waiting for this to start again
To feel this dull invasive pain
Slowly creeping in on me
Not a friend I'm happy to see

I felt it slowly gain strength
Much to my expense
I see darkness all around
And to it I am forever bound

So much I wish to say
But never do I find the words by day
Yet at night they flood my mind often
Tormenting me, waiting for disaster to happen

I want to quit it all
Close my eyes, let myself fall
Never wake, end it there
This hunting game certainly isn't fair

Laurence Ramos
30:08:2012

I was there, watching her water approaching, 
Yet it was London I was then missing, 
As the cold salty ocean reached out to me, 
It was clear back home I am no longer happy.

As I walked to her slowly anticipating
The icy grasp I had for so long been longing,
My mind raced back to where my heart and life now belong
Yes the love for her has gone but when it was there it was strong....

Biscarrosse, daughter of swamps and wild sands, 
Not matter how long and far you stretch out your hands, 
Even if in life and heart I will always be your daughter, 
It is not for you my heart is running after.

Oh mother of strong and hard minded people
You have lost the charm once bewitching all
A mere attraction you are now earthly mother
For you old and hidden beauty we no longer bother.

Your children have grown complacent
As quick as it left, your sweet pine scent
Along with it went the kindness, the charm
From me you may now forever close your welcoming arms.

In my heart I shall keep my childhood sun
Back from when it all begun
The memories of sweet treats and salty waters
But from you and the past little now matters.

Laurence Ramos
August, 8th. 2012